


You Know You Take Me Down The Line

by larryshippieforever



Category: One Direction
Genre: Angst, Crying, Feels, Happy Ending, M/M, Pain, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 22:41:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larryshippieforever/pseuds/larryshippieforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry gets hate on Twitter from his stuttering. This causes a whirlwind on emotions and regret</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Know You Take Me Down The Line

**Author's Note:**

> ***********TRIGGER WARNING: READ ONLY IF IT DOESN'T TRIGGER ANYTHING*************

“Why do they have to talk about it all the time?” I say to myself as I scroll though my Twitter. I promised myself that I wouldn’t do this. I just couldn’t. People just don’t understand what I go through. The things I’ve GONE through. 

I reach my hand up slowly to run through my matted curls, memories flowing through my mind that brings shivers to my body. I take a deep breath in, letting my emerald green eyes slip shut. Letting myself stay like this for a couple minutes, I finally calm down.  
Looking down at my laptop, I chew on my plump bottom lip, my long fingers fluttering against the keys before stopping to look at some comments that catch my eye.

“He’s just a little fag, that’s why he stutters”

“They really just need to kick him out of the band. They could be so much better without that stupid fag”

My heart stops.

Tears instantly flow from my eyes, closing my laptop roughly with my foot, I pull my legs into my chest, sobbing onto my knees, my large arms wrapped tightly around them as I cry.

I cry for so many reasons that I can’t even count.

There are so many things I wish I could stay…so many things that could possible make my life better.

When I was a little kid, I had this little stutter. My mom thought it was just a faze, that in a couple of years it would just…I guess fade away. But it didn’t.  
I would get so scared talking in front of anyone, and after a while, mostly my class mates noticed and started making fun of me because of it. I would stand alone in the lunch line and someone would purposely bump into me. Causing almost a chain reaction of laughs, just because I had a stutter.  
Soon, I was moving closer into depression. I would always tell my mom that I was sick, just because I knew that I couldn’t face another day in the hell hole called school. Then…it got worse when I started cutting. The first time was on accident…the second and the third wasn’t. Little ripple cuts starting on my legs and rose to my waist that I skillfully hid for many years.

One thing I had to say that truly saved me though. 

Music.

White Eskimo was the turning point in my life, and I found that even though I stuttered when I talked, I didn’t when I sang. I let my body be free as I sang, and the music seemed to just flow through me. 

The biggest step I ever took was when I signed up for the X Factor. With this, I found that I could hardly talk clearly up to the day of the audition. 

I felt so stupid that I needed to use the restroom so many times that day. Slipping away from my clingy room, I headed towards the men’s bathroom. 

Pushing open the door, I jump back slightly when I feel the impact of my body hitting someone else’s.

“O-opps” I manage to say softly, my voice high and squeaky.

My breath hitches when I see an adorably, handsome man in front of me, with long, honey brown hair and the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen!

“Hi” he answers back and my heart bursts.

That was the start of my new life. I had made it into a wonderful band called One Direction, with the nicest lads made to mankind. Then…I found true love.

From that day in the bathrooms, I knew that Louis was my true love.

I didn’t stutter when I was around him, he made my self-confidence grow through the roof.

That all changed. When Modest! Management ruined everything. 

When they said that Louis and I couldn’t be together, I could tell something inside of me was going wrong again.

Then along came Eleanor. 

It was ok at first, but then…over time I knew I was losing Louis. I started stuttering more often. After all the stuff with Taylor and all the hate…It’s fully back. And everyone notices. I hardly talk anymore. Only when management forces me to. 

I sit alone in my bedroom, wiping my red, teary eyes before standing up and walking over to the small bathroom hooked onto my room. I take a deep breath, opening up a small cabinet where I know I keep my razors. Tears brim my eyes again as I feel tightness growing in my chest.

I can’t do this.

I have to be strong for Louis.

But fuck…it’s been almost 2 weeks. Nothing. Not even a phone call or text. 

Maybe he truly loves Eleanor now. With this, I grip my favorite razor, holding it towards my already marked wrist, looking almost like railroad tracks. My eyes shoot up slightly to look at my reflection in the mirror, not looking anything like I used to.

My curls matted, not even the color it used to be, not a dul brown. The white part of my eyes fully red from all the crying I’ve been doing non-stop, the green not even half as bright as it used to be. I hardly look as healthy anymore either. I have no need to eat anymore, and the pounds just seem to slip off like nothing.  
Sucking in a breath, I place the razor on my wrist, chewing intently on my bottom lip, my other hand almost pulling it towards me when I hear a knock on my bedroom door.

“Mum! I’m busy; I’ll just eat supper later!” I call out, turning my head back to my wrist.

There’s no answer.

Strange, my mom usually answers.

Shrugging to myself, I go back to the process of cutting.

“Harry Edward Styles, what in the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

That voice.

The voice I will never forget.

A voice that makes me cry myself to sleep at night.

Dropping the razor quickly, I look up in the mirror to see a man standing at the door way, his perfect arms crossed around his chest, slowly shaking his head.

“L-lou…”

That’s all I can manage to say before crumping to the ground, almost hitting my head on the counter.

In the next moments, I feel someone’s arms around me, pulling myself into their lap. I cry on Louis shoulder, my body literally shaking from crying so hard. He whispers soft things in my ear until I finally calm down.

“N-never…leave me again…”

“Don’t worry Haz, I won’t. Never again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I cried making this :'( reminded me a little bit about myself...


End file.
